


Of Dreams and Memories

by Pegasus_Eridana



Category: Spartacus: Vengeance
Genre: F/M, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 17:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegasus_Eridana/pseuds/Pegasus_Eridana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naevia has nightmares. Crixus wishes he knew how to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Dreams and Memories

**Author's Note:**

> More Craevia mush. I can't help myself, and frankly I don't really want to.

Naevia was dreaming again. The men bore her down, faces full of cruel enjoyment as they violated her, abused her, took their pleasure out of abusing her in every possible way. She always cried out at the beginning, fighting, struggling to get away and to get back to Crixus, but by the time the sons of the house were thrusting into her, she had given up, body giving no more resistance than a corpse would. She was utterly alone, scarred and broken, and she would die soon. 

***

Crixus awoke to the all-too-familiar sounds of distress emitting from the woman sleeping next to him. It broke his heart to see her suffering so; knowing that she was not dreaming, but re-living the horrors of the months she had been from his arms, from his protection. He wished he could take her pain upon himself, that there was some way in which he could help her. In the early days of their courtship under Batiatus’ roof, he would use the act of physical love to reassure her when she was afraid, trusting in his body to show her everything he wished he could put into words. But now? He feared that even the most innocent attempt to touch her, to offer what poor comfort could be found in his arms, would send her back into waking nightmare and memories of her darkest hours. And would she even accept comfort from him? It was his fault she had these memories; his foolish recklessness which had caused their love to be discovered; his inability to find her which had meant her descent to the mines and the horrors she needlessly endured. He had failed her, and he deserved it if she banished him from her sight forever. 

***

 

His beloved voice drew her out of the nightmare. Fingertips ghosted along her back and shoulders, offering small comfort when what she really wanted was for Crixus to wrap her in his arms, bury his face in her hair, love her and surround her, and never let her go. She hated herself for the weakness which had caused her to flinch away from him the night they were first together again. While she was still not ready for them to make love, she wished for more than the odd tentative brush of her cheek or neck, withdrawn as if she were a piece of pottery that would shatter at the least touch. As she tried to regain control of her body and stop the shivers and sobs that were still wracking her body, she became aware of Crixus whispering to her, in a broken voice, his shame and his self-loathing, that he had not been able to protect her, that he did not deserve her love, that he would willingly give his life to spare her a moment of pain, that she should send him from her side and find a man more worthy of her. She turned to face him, tearstained yet incredulous and curious. 

“You think yourself unworthy of me? You think that what Lucretia caused to be done to me was your fault?”

Crixus bowed his head in affirmation, unable to meet her gaze. However, he looked up sharply and moment later when Naevia’s fist connected firmly with his chest. “Ow! Naevia, what the–“

“You great – big – stupid – lubbering – OAF!” She cried, punctuating each word with a punch to Crixus’ chest. “What other man would have dragged an entire army of slaves across the country to come and find me? What other man would have given himself up so that I could get away? What other man would still want me and love me the way you do after everything that those fucking Romans did to me? And what man would not only stay with me after I pushed you away that first night but sleep right next to me to make sure no-one else tried to hurt me? Of all the blind, idiot, stupid, IDIOT gladiators Crixus, you are THE WORST! And I love you!”

Crixus, cheered (and aroused) by this speech, scooted closer to his goddess, cupping her cheek gently with one huge hand and staring into her eyes. “You are sure, Naevia? I would not have you stay with me from obligation, or from fear- “ Once again, he was destined not to finish his sentence. Naevia, face blazing with the inner fire which had been absent for so many months, smashed her lips to his in a furious kiss, breaking away only enough so that she might form words. 

“I am with you, because as I am your heart, you are mine,” she murmured against her man’s lips. “I am with you because you complete me. I am with you because you saved me, and you brought me back when I had thought nothing ever could. You are my man Crixus, you are my heart and my soul and nothing shall ever part us again.” She kissed him again, more softly, taking her time to remember each curve and swell of his mouth, and he responded, drawing her up and over so that she was resting on top of him, their legs entwined, and she was finally whole again. They lay there, murmuring words of protection and love, until finally Naevia fell asleep, wrapped safely in Crixus’ warm arms. Her man stayed awake, watchful lest his goddess should show signs of nightmares again. However, his vigilance was needless. As long as she was in Crixus’ arms, Naevia knew with her entire being that she was safe and loved, and the light of that knowledge banished the nightmares back to the shadows of loneliness and despair from whence Crixus had saved her, and where she would never again dwell.


End file.
